Most people have in one point of their life, gone through a moment of self-reevaluation, and might reach a conclusion that life is meaningless and/or valueless. This period of reckoning that life is meaningless is called “existential crisis”. Well, the term is sort of self-explanatory. You have a crisis concerning your whole existence! When you are in one, it feels like fog is drawing around you, to quote my best friend, Poj. To be in an existential crisis makes you feel like life is emotionally distant, like you and life is divided by a thick fog. Such a crisis comes from several major causes including:
- Depressive disorder
- Major psychological drama
- The sense of being alone or isolated
- Or even when you are searching for the very meaning of your life (just to name a few)
Some people might suffer this due to some shocking shattering of their world view by a major dramatic event, while some others sort of suffer this crisis re-occuringly; the later type of people are mostly intelligent people who occupy their minds with problems beyond their everyday life crisis.
Now, many people find their “time-out” during the existential crisis depressing, constricting, or just plain uncomfortable. For me though, I find my life pretty comfortable, enjoyable even during a time of existential crisis because when you are busy contemplating the very meaning of your existence, or the validity that you are alive, everything else tends to pale in comparison, which means you do not give a flying fuck on things that are not important to you anymore. Oh, the new iPhone is out? Who gives a shit! You just bought a car that is worth all of your life savings? Meh. Oh, The Voice Cambodia is a controversial show in the moment? Well, I must be emotionally constipated, because I can’t seem to find a fuck to give. Excuse the language but to be honest, I just don’t care. Now, you might think being a careless asshole is not very tempting, and that’s true. But just because you don’t care about most of the mainstream things that are happening around you doesn’t make you an asshole. You can still care about the anything that you want; and by all means, do it. For instance, I would immerse myself in physics and space, astronomy learning when I’m fogged with this existential crisis. Everything else that is not supposed to matter actually doesn’t anymore. This makes life less complicated; you save more time and energy to do the things that you love, even if that means merely hanging out with your friends.
One down point of being in the fog for me is that I tend to become very emotionally distant from my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I still love them lots, but I just can’t seem to bring myself out of the fog and actually feel their presence when we are hanging out. This makes me look like I am not enjoying their company; and I just fear that they would be mad at me for doing so.
Now for all of you that find the fog very uncomfortable to be in, I suggest you to find something that can make you feel present. For me, it is drawing during which I have to concentrate all of my emotional, mental, and physical efforts in order to produce a sketch. My friend, Poj, who coined the metaphor “fog” as an existential crisis finds math comforting and that it can bring her back to reality. Therefore, if you want to be out of the fog, do something that needs concentration, math puzzles, sketching, playing musical instruments, biking, hiking, whatever suits you.
Well… it actually took all of the fuck I have in these past couples of days to cook up this article. Enjoy the hell out of it!