Lady’s Gaga hit song “Born This Way” has surely won the hearts of many struggling audiences in coming to terms with themselves, but should we really trust it entirely?
There has always been this question floating around when you contemplate about yourself, your strengths and your flaws. The question is “should I be who I am born to be? Or should I strive to be better?”
If you decide to go on the first path, self-development is a no-no for you. You would only do what you think is best and you will have to accept whatever flaws you have. If you were born biased, then you will have to be biased for the rest of your life, and be proud of it – a proud bias (how cringe-worthy).
Conversely, if you decide to stick to the second path, you’re all about self-development. If your guts told you to pick that cute grey shirt out from the store, you have ten more voices telling you that you shouldn’t because your sense of fashion is not that good and that it needs improvement. Better listen to your friend who has a higher sense of fashion and improve yourself first.
I have only picked out the worst of those two cases to showcase just how bad it can be sticking to only one end of the spectrum.
My take on this is that there are two types of “stuff” that makes you who you are, namely your preference and your character.
Your preference is what you prefer. It’s your own style, and it’s unique. Your preference includes your favorite color, your favorite book/movie genre, your favorite hairstyle, your favorite types of clothes, your favorite hobbies. It’s your own taste. When it comes to preference, just follow your guts. I mean… loving the color orange is not better than loving the color grey. They are just different. That’s all. You were born to have those preferences, so be proud of them. Though don’t go around telling people which to choose because they also have their own rights to preferences.
Now secondly, your character is your habits, your personality, your traits, beliefs, strengths, and weaknesses. These are what you should keep a look out for improvements. You were not born to be lazy, unproductive, chronically late, dishonest, or cowardice. You learn those traits and that means you can unlearn them. Your characters need refinement all the time, whether it be learning from somebody else, from a movie, from a book, or from self-reflection. By all means, change and improve them. Do not ever use “I was born this way” as an excuse for a flawed character.
So the conclusion is that you shall be proud of the preferences you were born with, and at the same time strive to be a better person with more refined characters.