Stone Cold Hopeless Romantic

Summer from 500 Days of Summer has a scene which she said she could cut her hair, the thing that she liked most, and felt absolutely nothing afterwards (or something along that line). I might be viewed as a love-sick person at times, but I found that scene very relatable. The power to just cut anything off, just like that, comforts and scares me at the same time.

Heartbreaks are supposed to leave you wanting, craving, and fragile for a long time, aren’t they? Well, at least that’s how they were in the movies. I have also seen people I know crumbling down by the weight of their own heartache, forever changed. I have seen the lights going out of my loved one’s eyes the instant the name of his heart’s subject was mentioned. I have tried to read more romance, listen to more sappy love songs, and even followed those depressed love poems on Tumblr; it worked for a moment. However, the moment I awake when sunshine calls on the morrow, the feeling’s gone.

At one point in my life, I got my heart so broken I thought it would never be complete again.

Funny how I was the one who asked for the break to happen,

funny how the dreadful feelings went away on day 3,

how the hurt was completely gone on day 14,

how a few weeks later, the memories became a blur, like a distant murmur of childhood dream I once had.

The ability to reason my own bleeding heart to stop beeping out alarms makes me question myself just…

just am I even capable of romantic love?

Can real love be reasoned with?

Was what I experienced real love or a temporary facade?

Isn’t love supposed to win over your brain?

What is even the difference between platonic and romantic love?

Swirling and swirling, the questions go on and on…

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You can hardly mention anything I'm not curious about.

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