It’s been probably a couple of weeks or months now. I am not sure anymore. It was as though a haze was covering my life. Everything went the usual way. I went to school. I talked to people. I read. I worked out. I went out. I may have slept like 10 hours per day, which is not quite strange. But something was missing.
There was no enthusiasm anymore. I thought it was just a part of growing up. You eventually lost enthusiasm for what you enjoyed doing when you were a teen, right? I thought I was growing up. But I didn’t quite like it because what is the point if nothing excites you anymore? I tried to go out, meet new people and go to new places, an island even, but the enthusiasm was still wanting. It’s like my heart was locked in a cage, and nothing could be done to disturb it from its slumber. Hanging out with close friends weren’t half as enjoyable anymore. The idea of going on dates don’t tempt me anymore. Listening to music didn’t strike a cord half as strong in my body anymore. I got myself involved in projects, and competitions, but found myself just going through the motion, nothing exciting.
I thought that was me becoming mature.
Until this morning…
From the outside, nothing has changed. I still go to school. I still talk to people. I still read. I still go out. But on the inside, everything has changed. I found out I genuinely felt excited for a hang out with some new friends tomorrow. I found myself thrilled in the prospect of a friendly date, and the notion of being on stage this very afternoon. I felt the thrill of working towards a project that will involve many other people and a greener lifestyle. I felt motivated to take on my mat, and start yoga.
I am not sure what happened, if whether that hazing period was depression, or just me being stuck in my own head. Whatever it was, it has passed over. I don’t know if all these excitement I am feeling is a sign of immaturity or stability, but what I do know is, it feels great when you heart is full of… something.. anything.
I guess the point of this post is just keep on going. Whether you are feeling empty, and just want to go to sleep all day, everyday… don’t give up. It might just be a phase. And even if it’s not, there has to be a cure for the emptiness you feel. Just… don’t give up.