You Owe People Nothing, and People Owe You Nothing

The biggest lesson I have learnt this year is this, “you owe people nothing, and people owe you nothing.

This might sound a little harsh, but hear me out first.

Ever feel unwanted? Unloved?
Ever feel like your significant other/parents/friends should have treated you better?
Ever feel disappointed because of unmet expectation?
These problems go away when you realize that people owe you nothing. Your friends do not have the duty to be there for you. Your parents do not have to always love you unconditionally. Your significant other does not have to always treat you like you were the only star in the night sky. Strangers are not born to smile to you on the street.
Simply, you are supposed to have no weight or whatsoever in somebody’s else’s thoughts.

Now, ever feel like you have so much burden upon your shoulder?
Like you just want to escape your current life in the middle of the night, and never come back ever again?
Ever feel guilty because you want to leave a loved one who is so dependent upon you because the immense pressure of responsibility is crushing your very bones?
Ever feel like cutting off someone toxic from your circle, but never really dared to for fear of offending them?
Well, just realize you owe people nothing. You don’t have to always be there for someone. You don’t need to be someone’s rock, someone’s drugs, or someone’s escape. You are not destined to smile to strangers on the street, to give help to the poor, or even pet a dog who is greeting you eagerly on the street.

At this point, you might think this would really make you an apathetic person.
Yes, but that’s the case only if you  just stop there.
If you go beyond, and still do nice things for the people you care about because you want to and are in a fit physical/mental state to do it, you will realize that a huge burden is lifted.
You don’t have to pretend anymore.
You can be indifferent or caring based on your own reasoning/feelings.
No more mister nice guy for the sake of duty, but now you’ve got the nice guy for the sake of being nice!
Be someone’s rock because they need you now to learn how to stay low by themselves.
Be someone’s drugs because they need time to realize they were their own drugs all along.
Be someone’s escape because they need a temporary exit from hell, to the level ground where they can build their own stairs to heaven.
Smile to strangers because you are feeling happy that day, and want to give them a small surprise.
Help the poor because you have more than enough to survive, so you want to help someone who is in no fit state to help themselves out of the mud.
Pet a dog because… it’s a dog and you love it.
…. Or not… see? You don’t have to choose to be anything that you don’t want to!

Also, it makes you more grateful when people do nice things to you. Since the default mode of people treating you is indifferent, you will appreciate it much more when people go out of their way to make you happy.
Your friends do not have the duty to be there for you, but when they pick up a shirt for you while shopping for themselves because they think you might like it, you realize they do love you, in their own little way.
Your parents do not have to always love you unconditionally, but sometimes they ask you if you are fine, or need any more food, and you realize they do care about you, as little as it  might be.
Your significant other does not have to always treat you like you were the only star in the night sky, but sometimes they would hug you or text to see if you get home safe, so you realize they actually do take the time to think about you after all.
Strangers are not born to smile to you on the street, but some do smile at you and you realize a complete stranger has the power to make the day just that little brighter.

At the end of the day, everybody is going their own separate ways. You don’t have to share anybody’s load, and nobody has to share yours. However, there  are some people that do and there are those time that you want to, which just adds a little bit of fun in your lonely road. That’s all.

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itsmscheng

You can hardly mention anything I'm not curious about.

12 thoughts on “You Owe People Nothing, and People Owe You Nothing”

    1. Truth can make you sad sometimes, especially if you have an overly sweet perception of reality. For me, first, it’s sad to have this realization, but then i just accepted it as a part of life. It’s sort of liberating, actually.

      1. Yes it totally is, liberating, I agree!
        your article is brilliant and came just at the right time 🙂 as a wise reminder. Thank you my dear, BRILLIANT!!!

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